Gray Flannel Dwarf


Guys and Dolls Drinking Game

Guys and Dolls Drinking Game

Drink once every time….
…They say the word “guy(s)”
…They say the word “doll(s)”
… A musical piece commences.

We didn’t get much further than that. You don’t need to, really.

cswiii @ 11:48 pm


psyched. completely psyched.

THR NOV 15, 2001 7:30PM

Seat Location: Section xxx Row x Seats xx – xx

cswiii @ 4:16 pm

Something to prove…

In an amicable, enjoyable, spirited discussion amongst the three currently living in my condo, a statement was uttered by the housemate, a statement which I now feel the need to disprove.

She states, “…all of the young American guys I’ve met so far are boring.”

Now, it’s important to note that she said this with regards to relationship perspectives, not friend perspectives. And, while I didn’t take offense, I still nonetheless felt the sudden need to prove that statement false, and to defend the name of ‘young American guys’… or at least the more noble portions thereof.

This said, I know I’ve, had my extended spells of ambivalent apathy. If anything, her statement has inspired, not discouraged me.

Beginning next month she will embark on a lengthy vacation, overseas… and mark my words, she will be surprised upon her arrival.

cswiii @ 12:12 am


“think about baseball”

Nearly struck out looking; I simply wasn’t watching the pitch.

No home run, but at this point, I was just striving to grind out a single, on an awkard bunt.

Never was much of a ‘Dave Winfield’. We’ll just see if I can improve on ‘Hensley Meulens’.

cswiii @ 1:32 am


Ani for me

I had never listened Ani DiFranco before, and yet, based on all I’d read, already respected her. Until recently, I’d only heard strains of her music, and was still determined that I’d catch her in concert one time.

I just got the 2-CD Set revelling:reckoning last night, and have been listening to it. Pretty nice. slagged it, which I thought weird (they’re usually pretty reliable); I won’t be able to form a more valid opinion until I immerse myself in the album(s), but so far, I like it. I do think I like reckoning better… it sounds to me like ideal cool autumn, rainy-day music.

She plays at Wolf Trap fairly regularly, if I’m not mistaken. I’ll have to drive down the road to catch her, sometime soon.

cswiii @ 1:19 pm


sociedad con queso

These thoughts are not really nicely organised.

I posted a comment in someone else’s journal, regarding the fragmentation, compartmentalisation of our culture, and it got me thinking: How can we have such a big, bloated American culture, and yet have all this ethnic and cultural strife?

When you order nachos and cheese, what have you got? You have that big, soft, all-encompassing goo that pervades and envelops the plate of sharp, non-pliable tortillas.

We’re not a melting pot, we’re not a salad bowl. The American culture is a big plate of nachos and cheese. There’s this big “American Culture” that encompasses all that we do and who whe are. Underneath that culture, however, you’ve got numerous subcultures and sects that are not as prone to change, and that have the desire to stay visible amongst all backdrop.

Now, having a so-called “American Culture” can be a good thing. It holds groups together and tightens bonds. However, when it starts to go bad, things fall apart. Henry Rollins once labelled it as “a culture that’s evaporating”. I tend to agree. The reduction of quality in our culture has people grasping for whatever they can find, whatever group with which they feel comfortably identifying. The commercials culture, disposable society, the lack of any real handles is leading people to fall back into small ethnic and sub-cultural groups.

Now, a culture starts to die if there’s nothing new and worthwhile created. The inability of the American Culture to absorb and apply some of the subtler aspects of sub-cultures leads to alienation; And while nothing new or creative is being formed in in today’s entertainment world, nor does anything that doesn’t quite fit into the supraethnic mold boil its way to the surface.

We have Britney Spears, an artificial cultural icon created and released into the public. Now, while the phenomenon might be pleasing to the eyes and ears, it’s candy. It’s not sustenance. Meanwhile, musical geniuses and fresh sounds that could really give a stagnant culture a breath of fresh air, instead are trampled underfoot.

Why do we fall apart into thousands of fragmented subcultures and microcommunities? Because we’ve got nothing to grasp in the American Culture, nothing to hold onto, we are creating nothing of which we can be proud.

Tags: , — cswiii @ 3:46 pm

I was just talking to

I was just talking to a friend of mine last night… I don’t know him to be a particularly religious guy, but he was talking about walking life on the straight and narrow, and how it has treated him surprisingly well. He talked about ‘straying’, and how, when he started to “step off that path”, ever so slightly, the darker sides of nature began to show themselves very quickly — “The wind starts blowing hard!”. It was an interesting philosophical discussion.

cswiii @ 2:55 pm


Went and saw Rush Hour

Went and saw Rush Hour 2, today. My ‘date’ (if you can call her that) had to immediately leave to get ready to go see Figaro at Wolf Trap, so between the movie and her rush, we actually didn’t end up talking too much. Oh well. I’m probably going to go see Guys and Dolls with her on the 30th, so maybe that’s good news.

Joined Toastmasters a month ago. I don’t know that it’s my thing, but I decided to give it a shot, see if it’s worth my time. Gave my first speech today, and people liked it; I thought it was okay, but I guess the fact that I got a phonecall mid-day Thursday asking if I wanted to speak makes it a little better.

I guess I won’t get to go see Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back tonight. Ah well, the opportunity will arise again soon, I’m sure..

cswiii @ 5:16 pm


Man, I’m BACK.

7:30 this morning, returned to the gym for the first time in weeks. Tried to be careful, think I did ok. Benchpress, dumbells, 20 minutes of stationary bike.

Returned to the gym at 6:00 PM!

Benchpress, dumbells, curls, butterfly, 1/2 mile of running (again, trying to be careful).

God this feels good!

cswiii @ 7:49 pm


Overly verbose

A question posed to me by a friend’s fiance, and my response. This was for her “Marriage and Sex” class.

> What are some of the major tensions between you and females in
> negotiating an intimate relationship? Speculate on the social
> roots of this tension and the possible social solutions.

Christ, that’s a difficult question.

So you’re talking “my” situations, not those of the “25-32 year old white male american”, are you? In my case, most of my ‘intimate relationships’ have occurred spontaneously — I’ve never had much luck ‘building up’ a relationship.

Now, this isn’t a good thing — I’d much rather have a real relationship based on common interests, trust, etc., in addition to attraction… but for whatever reason, the vast majority of mine have never come out that way.

Regardless, Because of this, they (mine) tend to fall apart very quickly. A few days, a week, two weeks… one or both parties begin to doubt the viability of the situation.

So, while wouldn’t say “sexual tension” is the core problem, per say — that’s too simplistic — I’d certainly have to say that the focus need be on more emotionally tangible ideals, rather than some ethereal, ungrounded desire. The tendency to rush into something usually just has bad results for me. No foundation, the structure crumbles. Furthermore, the ability to communicate at all is key…

Social roots? I don’t really know. I do think a lot of it comes from poor communication, or even lack thereof. No relationship, personal, business or otherwise, can exist without good communication… and if you can’t channel your thoughts, can’t talk to a (potential) SO in a reasonable manner, it’ll never work. I don’t know if lack of communication is rooted in social or personal issues — perhaps even both.

Possible solutions? Improved interpersonal skills. That’s about all I can say. If one can’t communicate, nothing will hold together.

cswiii @ 4:47 pm

intentional grounding?

I rarely ever try to put someone in an uncomfortable position. I avoid it. In fact, I used to go out of my way to make sure that no toes were stepped on.

…And rarely were they, in the first place, I learned.

But to this day, I can’t help but feel a touch of guilt, when it happens involuntarily.

cswiii @ 3:49 pm

Busy weekend.

For a weekend that started off looking dreary, it was pretty good — despite the sometimes typhoon-like rains that we had.

Rocky Horror (“what’s on your chin?”), bbq party, hiking… ended up fairly occupied.

So anyway, it’s late, and I’m tired. But I did have this thought that I figured needed to be written up before I sleep…

Suburbs. They drain your thought, zap your creativity.

When I lived in the rural south, I found all sorts of things that were suitable subjects for writing. Be it the camping trips, the colourful folklife, the moonshine, there were always new angles to examine

The city, too, has any number of attractive facets… the fast-paced life, the occasional despair, the metropolitan multiculturalism.

The ‘burbs though — and this topic has been beaten into the ground before, I’m sure — they’re just so… vanilla. What am I going to write about, SUVs and townhouses? I mean, beyond that fake plastic smile, I know people in the suburbs have problems, too. I know suburbanites have hopes and dreams. But these things are never exposed to the outside world. They don’t have that fast-pace of the city, an emotional belt sander, to reveal the raw feelings; They don’t have the hard-luck life nor the small town ties of the country that clarify and accentuate personal values, beliefs, regardless of the variance.

What is there to write about, regarding the suburbs? Sprawl doesn’t make for exciting prose, and strip malls can too easily become cliche.

Must sleep now.

cswiii @ 12:23 am


Course of events…

Note to self: Chance of movie companion this evening: Unknown

Time: Around 10:30 AM
IM from woman: (general banter)
IM from me: (more general banter)
IM from me: “interested in catching a movie this evening?
IM from her: “maybe, I’ll have to see, I woke up with a stomach ache.”

Note to self: Chance of movie companion this evening: 50%

IM From me: “Ok, cool, just let me know one way or the other.
IM From her: “ok”.

Time: Around 2:30 PM
I hear nothing.

Note to self: Chance of movie companion this evening: 25%

Time: Around 4:30 PM
I hear nothing.

Note to self: Chance of movie companion this evening: 15%

Time: Around 5:00 PM

IM From me: (general banter)
IM From her: (more general banter)
IM From me: “So, you up for catching a movie tonight?

I hear nothing.

Note to self: Chance of movie companion this evening: 0%

1. I hate when people keep you hanging, making it impossible to make goddamn weekend plans.
2. I hate it even more when people just play “shut up”, and don’t ever give you an answer at all.
3a. FUCKING RUDE What the fuck.
3b. I hate negativity, but I simply don’t get it this week. Bah :(

I hope I have a suitable designated driver tonight.

cswiii @ 5:33 pm

Bah. I ate half my

Bah. I ate half my fried rice for lunch today. I was satisfied. Comfortably full. Went on a walk outside with some coworkers. Pretty healthy.

And then the AA comes by.
“There were two pieces of pizza left at $FOO meeting.”

Hands me the box. Hands me a Pepsi.


cswiii @ 2:11 pm

I get rejected in my sleep!

Last night’s dream:

I go out with some woman, first time. I forget how I met her, but that inconsequential to the rest of the dream. What it comes down to, over the course of the evening, is that she’s really, really cool. Extremely down to earth, witty, interesting. We have the best time. It’s to the point in the evening where we’re gettin’ down to the ‘preliminaries’, the small, small talk, sitting-on-a-couch talk, when she asks me, “so what’s your opinion on the evening so far?”

“I’ve had a good time. I think you’re great”.

“Good. Ok, well, seeing as you told the truth, I only think it’s fair that I tell the truth as well. I think you’re really great, but you’re just not tall enough for my tastes…”

Dream sorta fades out after that, but I think I remember myself on the verge of tears, upon her exit. I don’t think I was able to comprehend how the wonderful woman, so seemingly down-to-earth was suddenly so empty. Even the way she started the statement was eloquent, but the end, and its contents, were both in stark contrast to everything else.

(Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any self-conciousness re: height. That might be the first thing on one’s mind, but I’ve never really had any stature issues. I thought that specific part of the dream was weird)

If there’s an upside, it’s the fact that the dream was at least coherent. Nevermind the reality aspect :P.

cswiii @ 8:29 am


The New Math

5 Frustrations

4 different attempts to get a date, because,
3 days before the event, i get
2 tickets for the Rocky Horror Picture Show…
1 corey

0 women.

cswiii @ 2:59 pm


Didn’t end up hiking. Why?

Didn’t end up hiking. Why? Because right now, there’s a heat index of 87 degrees outside, at 11:30 PM. I guess you can imagine how hot it is during the day — although I am obviously not alone, in this case.

I did, however, go out to Great Falls. Just sat out there on a rock, played guitar, let the sounds of the rapids drown out my lyrics.

…I wonder how well people could hear it up on the main part of the trail.

Old acquaintance IMed me the other day; I hadn’t talked with her in months. We got along fine, but I was a bit smitten back then, and she never reciprocated. Had lunch with her today. She’s a whole lot more gregarious now, that’s for sure. Most curious.

cswiii @ 10:34 pm



This is what this region has become. Look up “Great Falls” on altavista, and find nothing but real estate listings and “community association” links… Nevermind that it’s home to some beautiful waterfalls and nice, historical trails.

Furthermore, all the more incentive to remember to use Google for my search. It found what I was looking for, with ease. None of this “paid search results” crap.

In any case, I’ll probably be hiking out here, somewhere, after work today. That’s productive-enough, I think.

cswiii @ 1:13 pm

Gotta get up and go

Gotta get up and go
Gotta get up and do

I cannot let myself sit here, chewing my cud, doing nothing, slowly getting stuck in this tarpit of self-defeatism.

Came into work way early. Maybe I’ll jet early, too, find something productive to do.

Gotta get out.

cswiii @ 11:00 am



Title about says it all.

I just wish I knew why I’m slipping into one. Reading my last few posts, I don’t think they add up to any particular reason; Rather, I think they are symptoms.

I have no particular reason to suffer any sort of depression. It has just sorta snuck up on me. Reasons unknown.


cswiii @ 4:42 pm
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