Gray Flannel Dwarf

8/24/2002

I should really be asleep

I should really be asleep right now.

Tomorrow — well, in several hours, to be exact — I will be having brunch, followed by a five to six-hour road rally event filled with mind games and puzzles, followed by an evening on the town with moy lushi drook M. Tonight we watched parts of Desparado on the TV, amidst chatter about money issues, John Lennon, and J.D. Salinger.

I really need to get back to my literary self.

I went so far tonight, as to tell M that he needs to come over sometime, whereupon I’ll have him change the passwords on my system, so I am not online.

It’s not that I have a distaste for anyone or anything that I know online. Far be it from that, I still find LJ an extremely comforting outlet. It’s a great place to jot some thoughts, and I don’t know really have plans to leave it or anything.

However, what I do know is that I need to find my true literary self again. This became especially obvious to me, after tonight’s discussions. I need to write again. Now, while LJ is a good place to do so, I find myself writing less and less about things that truly are important to me. Yes, every once in a while, I’ll have a write-up that spouts philosophical – and have no doubt, I find that useful.

I need to get back to my roots. My literary ones, not these logic-weeds that have sprouted and scattered their seeds amongst the parched-earth landscape of my worldview. I need to explore my creative side again, lest it disappear.

This is not a goodbye, by any means. It is an indication, however, that the content of my journal may change. I don’t know whether this will be drastic or gradual, or if it will even happen at all. If it does change, I have no doubt that it will contain a fair bit of awkward, cliched literary quips and tired solipsisms.

But I think I will be better for it, in the long run.


cswiii @ 1:52 am