This is the story of three guys who took a wrong turn on the calendar and ended up in Philly for what turned out to be the longest drive for a cheese steak, ever.
We have an old college friend in town for the weekend, a crazy Norwegian with whom we went to school. It has been a fun weekend, and the two of them decided that it would be a great idea to try and go into the city to find tickets to see the Wizards play the Lakers. I’m not a basketball fan, but I decided it might be a good time, so we got in the car, and made our way out to the car.
As I got into the car, I mentioned that I’d seen online that the Wizards beat the Lakers last night, at the buzzer. Silence. Apparently, unlike baseball, basketball teams don’t play each other, several games at a time. Actually, maybe they don’t in baseball, I can’t remember anymore.
In any case, we took off down the road, and checking the NBA schedules on my mobile phone, I determined that there would be no Wizards game in town tonight, as they seemed to be in Cleveland. We talked a bit, to figure out what the course of action would be. We decided we would just go have drinks at Reston Town Center.
Reston Town Center plans turned into Adams Morgan.
Adams Morgan plans turned into Baltimore.
Next thing I knew, we were headed to Philly for the night. We would get there around 9.30, with plenty of time to visit South Street. I was hesitant at first but hey, what could I do, it’s not like they could/would turn around and drop me off at home.
Right on schedule, we roll into Philly with no map, and no idea of where we’re going. We finally park in a garage and walk around a bit, getting a feel for the town. Went a few blocks, and then something caught our attention — the green “Carlsberg” neon sign in a window. Looking at the menu next to the entrance, we saw that they had cheesesteaks, and decided to stop in.
The sandwiches were good and plentiful; The beer was cheap. One sandwich and two beers came out to twelve bucks a head. Getting tips from the waitress and other patrons, we found out that where we parked was about five blocks from a Holiday Inn and easily accessible on Philly’s now notorious (at least to us!) one-way roads. We also found that we were about five blocks, in a straight shot, to the famed South Street, a street which once found me driving shirtless in a pickup… but that’s another story.
Psyched, and ready for a good night, we tip the waitress well and go over to the parking garage to make our way over to the hotel. This is where things began to fall apart.
We somehow ended up coming out of the parking garage in a location I didn’t expect, so that threw off our directions, and we ended up somewhat out of our way — but this wasn’t a big deal, We found Walnut Street, and headed down to approximately where the waitress told us we could find the hotel.
Only we never saw it.
We asked several people along the way, all of whom gave us similar locations, but I think we passed it three times w/o seeing anything resembling the hotel. We were stymied and frustrated.
Finally, driving down the road, I spot a Hampton Inn. Knowing this is cheap, we stop out front and go in, only to find that the place is sold out, due to a convention in town. They suggested we check out the Lantham. This name sounded very familiar to me. Along the way, we ask someone for directions once again, and he gives us a tourist-sorta map that he apparently didn’t need anymore. This looked to be, apparently, the rosetta stone, since it had all the major hotels in the city listed.
We made our way back to the Lantham. Yes, this was familar… we passed it originally, walking from the garage to the pub. We stepped inside.
Again, no dice. They, too, were booked. The guy at the desk was very nice and did his best, I think he called around to about 10 hotels, asking if they had any double, or even single-occupancy rooms. There was nothing to be had in that town.
And thus, with heavy hearts, heads, and eyes, we decided it was time to drive back home.
We were kinda grouchy, even before we got to the Lantham, and now it was a combination of grouchiness and resignation. We muttered and kinda bickered a bit on the way back to 95. But caffeine and Bob Dylan on the stereo prevailed, and the drive back — although I wasn’t the one driving — was a little more lighthearted. By the time we were back home, we were laughing heartily about this excursion, which a few hours prior was wholly inconceivable.
It was an experience. I’ve had enough excitement and trips on the emotional roller coaster that I ought be a human Prozac for the next week.
Right now, however, I am a human Dramamine. Goodnight.