Gray Flannel Dwarf

10/9/2004

old married man

In a little over thirteen hours, I will be an old married man.

I am not sure how I feel. I am not nervous, particularly, nor stressed — at least not about getting married, though the wedding process itself has the tendency to stress me out simply because I am not a totally organised, scheduled person.

The rehearsal dinner tonight seemed like a dream. Not a dream as in, it was absolutely perfect; rather, as in, it is hard to fathom that this whole scenario has occurred and is occurring. It was fun, it was good food, I really enjoyed it, and I had moments where I truly realised how important she is, and how grateful I am. Perhaps I am not an over-excitable person.

Except that I know I get over-excited at some things. Maybe I am manic-depressive. Maybe not. I am rambling.

Anyway, I don’t have fears, I don’t have doubts. I am exceedingly happy that this is occuring. Perhaps it’s just the fact that we’ve spent so long leading up to this point, and there has been so much involved, that a sense of closure — a good one, mind you — is more a relief than anything.

I am glad Robin could come up, and I am glad that many relatives, and soon-to-be relatives could make it. This will be a good event. Overall, I guess it’s safe to say that I truly am looking forward to it, beyond any mere surface desires.

That’s an understatement, I guess, but I suppose I’ve always kept my emotions pretty muted.


cswiii @ 3:14 am