Gray Flannel Dwarf


strangest dream…. ever.

I wanted to write this down immediately after waking up, because it made so much sense, and was pretty funny, albeit most strange. Now I can only remember fragments, and some of the more memorable scenes.

The following is recited in the order in which I kinda remember it existing, so a few readthroughs might be necessary to string a few of the bits together.

The dream revolved around this (fictional) new strip club in town. “Strip club” isn’t wholly accurate — it was adult entertainment, but there was a twist. Rather than have lots of single, slob guys coming in and checking out the same old daily special, this club catered to younger people — and in fact, couples or groups — to experiment with their sexuality. It had music, a bar, etc., but it wasn’t seedy, with greasy bouncers and their ilk. It was controlled, but not in an intense, we’ve-gotta-watch-out-for-sleazy-sal way. In fact, I don’t even really remember seeing much ‘skin’ in this dream.

Here’s the premise. People would come into the place, and use, if desired, the costume room in the back. This costume room would contain all sorts of different outfits that anyone could use, to indulge their fantasy. Now, participants were then able to act as strippers for the club, go around to different groups, charge whatever fees they wanted, to perform the standard fare, to whatever degree they felt comfortable. The club would then, of course, get a cut of the profits. If you didn’t want to experiment, fine, you just lounged there on your chair, or pillow, or whatever and drank beer. No pressure, just enjoy the scenery.

Fragment 1:
A group of us, 6-8 are going. I don’t recall most of the people with whom I was in attendance — in fact, for the most part, I don’t think I know, in real life, justabout any of them, with the exception of my housemate, who was in attendance. Most of the group was straggling behind on the sidewalk, chattering. My roommate strided on ahead to check the place out (Very true to real life).

I guess she had been unaware as to what exactly it was — by the time we (the group) get to the lobby, inside the first set of doors, she’s making her way out of the main room, quite petrified, scared as to what this is. She came over to me, saying she didn’t realise that this was what kinda place it was, and that it wasn’t her thing, during which, she began to cry. (Now, this isn’t very true to life — while I don’t think this sorta place is something she’d frequent, she wouldn’t break down over it — in fact, she’d find some way to amuse herself with it). In any case, I told her I understood, she nodded, gave me a hug and left. We enter the club, hung out.

Fragment 2:
We find out that, due to the popularity of this place, they’ve sponsored a contest to see who can earn the most amount of money for a given night/week/month.

Fragment 3:
We were in there just lounging around — maybe one or two people in our group had gone back to at least check out the costume room. I’m kinda off on my own when I happen to catch sight of this stunning woman. I reckoned that she looked something like Melina Kanakaredes, but a few skin tones darker. She was talking to some bonehead. The bit of the conversation I heard went something like this:

[chattery mumbo-jumbo]

Her: I speak some Chinese.
Bonehead: Really?
Her: Yeah, I also have some Nepalese blood, lived there for a while.
Bonehead: Really? I have a friend from Africa, too.

There was then a little more silly talk that I can’t remember, but I took that last statement as an excuse to say something a little more intelligent. We chatted, had some great conversation (about which I can’t remember), and she came over and sat down with our group for a while.

Fragment 4:
[I can't remember what happened in here. But there was something to segue to the next section....]

Fragment 5:
Our original group has left the club, and broken up into smaller segments, most of whom were on their way home. 2-3 of us head to a convenience store to grab a soda and whatnot. All along the way, we see the occasional pamphlet or flier… and start to really realize how serious people are taking this contest. One group/person is putting up these signs advertising “You’ll have a good time with Justine” and “Come Kiss Justine”, etc. on lightposts, and on the corkboard in the convenience store. They were collecting money up front. We ask the clerk about it, he doesn’t know very much. We decide to head back over to the place to see if we’d missed something.

Fragment 6:
We’re walking back through the parking lot. A car (BMW?) with the Melina woman in the passenger side is near by. They’re turning from the curb out in front of the place, to go down the lane in the parking lot in which we happen to be walking. They have a very minor fender-bender with a yellow VW bug while doing so. I guess it was their fault — but the VW owner doesn’t seem to care, since his car is so beat up anyway, waves it off and drives by. They go down the lane, make a U-turn, and start heading down behind us, just slowly cruisin along — a little more careful, I guess.

I also guess they weren’t happy about the fender bender — there’s a marked change in attitude as they start to drive by…

Me: (wave to her) “ni hao ma?
Her: (looks at me, wry look on her face, as if she knows something) “what?”
Me: “Ni hao!” Just saying hello again. I heard you mention earlier tonight that you spoke Chinese.

Her: No, I never said that. I said my friend did.

They drive off. I stare in disbelief, shrug, and we head back into the place.

Fragment 7:
As we enter the place, it’s pretty much dead. In fact, it is dead — the place had closed for the night, and there were just mostly some cleaning people hanging around. We spot a custodian over to the right.

Me: Hey man, what do you know about this ‘Justine’ character?
Him: (smiling) Heh, you want to know about Justine?

Me: Yeah. What’s up with her? I mean, they collect money up front and everything…
Him: You really wanna know, eh.
Me: Well.. yeah.
Him: “Justine” is the name of a horse in the alleyway that this group brings down here, every week. they take the people who paid their $5 out through the side door, blindfolded. They proceed to then get “kissed” by the horse.

Me: What??! (all of us proceed to laugh)
Him: Yeah, no shit.
Me: People fall for that?

Him: Heh, Justine’s been the biggest moneymaker for three weeks straight.
[much more laughter]

* * * * * * * * * * *

That’s pretty much the end of the dream. There’s another mini-segue, and the when the dream ends (with my alarm going off), I’m sitting up on a balcony or something, yelling down to some old college classmates I knew; They don’t yet hear me calling to them when I wake up.

Is that most bizarre dream you’ve ever seen? It ranks up there, for me, anyway….

cswiii @ 12:20 am

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