Gray Flannel Dwarf


Browser Bookmark Blues

lisa says to you, "dude, i need the link to your actual, active blog"
lisa says, "my bookmark file died, and your old LJ blog doesn't show it anymore"

Funny thing about bookmark files. You accumulate a lot of cruft there that you never look at again, yet you never realise how much you’ve stored there until you lose it.

“Browser Bookmark Blues”
(apologies to Don McLean and “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How the pages used to make me smile
And I knew if I took the hint
That I should make those pages print
And maybe they’d be safe, then, for a while
But browser crashes made me shiver
with every webpage it’d deliver
Bad news on the page load
It wouldn’t take one more goad
No, I can’t remember being brash
When I saw the blue screen crash
But something made my bookmarks trash
The day the browser died.

Bye-bye “Miss America” site,
“Driving Chevys”, “Jacques Levy”, “Feel Like Chicken Tonight”
“Da Geto Boys”, Inky Blinky and Clyde,
Browser, this would be the day that you died

Did you see the “Hamsterdance”
And did you have it linked, perchance
If the shortcut showed you how?
Now do you believe you saved the site?
Can you retrieve this page just right
And would you send the URL to me now?
Well, I knew that you’re in love with “Jack””
’cause I had it bookmarked, “Hotmail hack”
But now my links are gone,
Man, I miss that anime pr0n…
I was a lonely surfer browsin’ news
Reading soundbytes from the Reuters news
But I’m screwed now, yeah, I have the blues
The day the browser died
I’ve started singing….


Now, for five days I’ve been on my own
Can’t find that site for the Rolling Stones
But that’s not how it used to be
When it used to link emulations sites
Yes, it kept track of the hockey fights.
And it showed me where to catch my flights.
Oh, and now that things are looking down,
I can not wipe away this frown
The bookmark list adjourned.
All my “eBay cheats” are burned.
Oh my message board links, they are gone
Along with helpful tips for a greener lawn
And the flash version of 3D Pong
The day the browser died
And I am singing…


“Helter Skelter” in my ‘OLGA’ folder
As the ashes of my bookmarks smoulder
All my ways to procrastinate…
And a “Starbucks” latte coffee pass
Yes it’s hoax that failed, alas, alas.
I’ve been looking in vain but now it’s getting late.
Now the Half-Life link is M.I.A.
The “Pulp Fiction soundboard” went away.
I never got to play
The role of Shoutcast indie DJ.
‘Cause my browser went and bit the dust
Seemed my cookies caused the thing to bust
Is there anything left that I can trust
Now that my browser died?
I still am singing…


Oh, and they were all there sitting in one place
…the fanboy page for “Lost in Space“…
I’ve got to go and start my list again
So come on people, send me links
To the “Space Quest” page of hints and tricks.
While my bookmark file is on the mend…
I watched the meltdown take effect.
Goodbye to “Star Trek”, “BattleMech”
No action could help quell,
Could break this cold death knell.
And as the numbers climbed high, out of sight
I lost that sweet MP3 site
My friends were laughing with delight
The day the browser died.
And still I’m singing…


I met a girl on ICQ
And I asked her for some things to do
But she just logged off, and refused my text
I went down to the Yahoo! store
Where I’d seen the discounts days before
But without my bookmarks I was truly vexed,
And in misery, I lost my mind
The cursing flew, I went half-blind
But no scrap was recovered
The bookmarks were all smothered.
And the three sites I admire most:
Google, Slashdot, and Space Ghost
They’re all that’s left, my browser’s toast
Today, my browser’s fried,
I can’t stop singing…


Tags: , , — cswiii @ 4:30 pm

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