Gray Flannel Dwarf

6/14/2001

I’ve decided that I have

I’ve decided that I have a not-so-nice personality trait… I tend to have short patience for peoples’ foibles. Now, it’s not just any old thing, though. Everyone has their own idiosyncrasies. It’s what makes us human.

Also, I used to have crazy issues. Really pretty nasty. But I learned to work them out.

Now, when I see those same weaknesses in others, I can’t stand it, if they continually surface. It’s a strange mentality. Kind of like, “Geez, I got over it, why can’t they? Why do they just sit there and bitch about it rather than do something?”

I know too many people, resource-rich, who can’t handle their own finances. I know too many hypochondriacs, paranoids, too many people insecure with their own existence. Too many people who readily blame someone or something else rather than look to themselves to make a change.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not truly insensitive to the needs of people. This is hardly the case. But I think there are two issues I’m trying to reconcile here. First, a lot of people that I meet have some sort of dysfunction, and second, a lot of them aren’t willing to take any responsibility upon themselves to resolve it.

But for every person I’ve met who is muddled down in this quagmire, I’ve met another who has encountered far more radical circumstances and has emerged with some degree of victory.

Again, the fact that I’m so impatient is my own issue. And I take responsibility for it. But that’s the difference. I take responsibility for it.

We exist in a truly fucked-up culture. But you can only blame the culture so much. The culture is only minimally responsible for what you don’t like in yourself.

I can’t think about this entry anymore, right now. I’ll continue it later.


cswiii @ 3:47 pm

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